Although research into perinatal anxiety is increasing, it is still not well understood. As such, you might find that you encounter some misunderstandings about what it is, and what it means to have perinatal anxiety. To help shine a light on this issue, we’ve put together this page to help bust some of the most common “myths” about perinatal anxiety, and perinatal mental health issues in general.
Having a new baby is the happiest time of your life
THE TRUTH
We have all heard this one! And it can really put pressure on both new mums and mums to be. It can make you feel like hiding your feelings and pretending everything is OK. It is a happy event, but in reality, it is one of the hardest times of your life and if you have anxiety on top of this, it makes it extra hard. So, it is Ok to not feel like this.
Only mums get perinatal anxiety
THE TRUTH
One in five mums will get perinatal anxiety, but it is increasingly being recognised that it is not just mums who can get this. Research has shown that it can affect dads, same sex partners, and couples who have adopted.
Perinatal anxiety is normal
THE TRUTH
Sometimes we might tell ourselves that these worries are normal, just our hormones, and it is just what motherhood feels like. New parents can feel stressed and have good and bad days. However, if symptoms last for more than 2 weeks it could be a sign you need help. While perinatal anxiety is common it is not a healthy way to be feeling and treatment can get you back to your old self, so you can get on with enjoying your life.
Women can only get depression in the postnatal period
THE TRUTH
Women can get depression in both the antenatal and postnatal period (perinatal). Women can also get anxiety in this period too. In fact, research shows that is it more common to get anxiety than depression at this time in your life.
Perinatal anxiety is a weakness
THE TRUTH
Perinatal anxiety happens to all sorts of people, it does not discriminate. It can attack how you feel about yourself, especially how you see yourself as a mother. You might see it as a sign that you are not coping with the demands of motherhood and feel like a bad mum. This is common for mums who are struggling with anxiety and it is the illness making you think this way. Worrying that you are not doing a good enough job shows you are a very caring mum. In fact, you are stronger than others as you are meeting the demands of motherhood while battling this unseen enemy.
Having perinatal anxiety means you are a bad mum
THE TRUTH
See above? Disclosure
Anxiety does not occur in pregnant women
THE TRUTH
Research suggests that about 20% of pregnant women experience anxiety. Getting help quickly can help you recover and prevent it continuing after you have your baby.
Perinatal anxiety symptoms only occur in the first 3 months after childbirth
THE TRUTH
It can occur during pregnancy and up to a year after childbirth. If you are still experiencing symptoms years afterwards it may be that it has developed into a different anxiety disorder. It is vital you get support from family/friends and help from professionals as soon as possible to prevent it worsening.
If you have perinatal anxiety the social services will take your baby
THE TRUTH
This is a common fear for women with perinatal anxiety and can stop you from telling others and getting the help you need. In reality, social services rarely get involved. If you tell a HCP how you feel they will work to support you alongside you looking after your child(ren).
If you have perinatal anxiety you will have to take antidepressants
THE TRUTH
There are many treatments for perinatal anxiety. Medication is an effective option for some women. Other effective treatments include CBT, counselling, and online anxiety courses. It is not a one size fits all. Your HCP will be able to talk through your options and find one or a combination of treatments that suits you. You might also want to look at our pages on self-help to find tools that you might find helpful.
If you take antidepressants you will have to stop breastfeeding
THE TRUTH
If you and your doctor agree that antidepressants are the right treatment for you, you will have weighed up the possible consequences of this. Some medications may pass on to your baby through the breast milk or by being pregnant. Some people decide it is worth the risk to keep the mother healthy and there are options with breastfeeding. As above, you will be able to talk through all your treatment options with your HCP to find what is best for you and your baby.
Mums with perinatal anxiety hurt their children
THE TRUTH
A common symptom of perinatal anxiety is intrusive thoughts about harm coming to your baby, either accidentally or intentionally by you. They can cause you great distress and you are likely to find it hard to talk about. You may feel guilty or scared, but just because you have the thought does not mean it will happen or you will act on it. This is a common symptom and mothers with mild to moderate anxiety are no more likely to harm their children than other parents.
See our section on unwanted thoughts and Common thoughts of harming your baby.
A woman with perinatal anxiety can snap out of it
THE TRUTH
Sometimes well-meaning people in our life think you can “snap out of it” or tell us to be thankful we have a healthy baby and there is no need to worry. This may leave you feeling frustrated, not understood and alone. It is no more possible to snap out of it than it is to will a broken arm better. Unfortunately, some people are not as aware about mental health conditions, but that does not mean you need to feel bad or guilty about your illness. It is an illness and it is not your fault.
Top tip: Find a friend who is understanding and will listen to you.
Perinatal anxiety is not a real illness
THE TRUTH
Perinatal is not so commonly known as research has tended to focus on postnatal depression. There is now increasing research that recognises anxiety is a serious health issue in pregnancy and after childbirth. In fact, it appears to be even more common than depression in this time. General awareness of this condition will hopefully continue to increase.
Perinatal anxiety will resolve itself over time
THE TRUTH
Most women with perinatal anxiety will recover in time, but with treatment you can recover faster and if you do not get treatment you may get worse. Using self-help tools or seeking professional treatment will make recovery easier and quicker.
There is not a problem if you look like you are coping
THE TRUTH
Often mums with perinatal anxiety will put a lot of effort into looking like they are coping. You may be anxious that you do not want people to know you are struggling. This can be exhausting and keeping up this “mask” may increase your anxiety.