Although research into perinatal anxiety is increasing, it is still not well understood. As such, you might find that you encounter some misunderstandings about what it is, and what it means to have perinatal anxiety. To help shine a light on this issue, we’ve put together this page to help bust some of the most common “myths” about perinatal anxiety, and perinatal mental health issues in general.
Having a new baby is the happiest time of your life
THE TRUTH
We have all heard this one! And it can really put pressure on both new mums and mums to be. It can make you feel like hiding your feelings and pretending everything is OK. It is a happy event, but in reality, it is one of the hardest times of your life and if you have anxiety on top of this, it makes it extra hard. So, it is OK to not feel like this.
Only mums get perinatal anxiety
THE TRUTH
One in five mums will get perinatal anxiety, but it is increasingly being recognised that it is not just mums who can get this. Research has shown that it can affect dads, same sex partners, and couples who have adopted too.
Perinatal anxiety is normal
THE TRUTH
Sometimes we might tell ourselves that these worries are normal, just our hormones, and that it must just be what motherhood is supposed to feel like. Some stress and worry is normal in pregnancy, and for new parents – we can all feel stressed and have good and bad days. However, if symptoms last for more than 2 weeks or start to interferre with your day-to-day life, it could be a sign you need help. While perinatal anxiety is common it is not a healthy way to be feeling and treatment/support can get you back to your old self, so you can get on with enjoying your life.
Women can only get depression in the postnatal period
THE TRUTH
Women can get depression in both the antenatal and postnatal period (perinatal). Women can also get anxiety in this period too. In fact, research shows that is it more common to get anxiety than depression at this time in your life.
Perinatal anxiety is a weakness
THE TRUTH
Perinatal anxiety happens to all sorts of people, it does not discriminate. It can attack how you feel about yourself, and how you see yourself as a mother, so it’s important to realise that it is not your fault is you get perinatal anxiety. It isn’t a weakness or a character flaw. It is a real illness, like flu or heart disease. In fact, you may even be stronger than others as you are meeting the demands of motherhood while battling this unseen enemy.
Having perinatal anxiety means you are a bad mum
THE TRUTH
Perinatal anxiety can sometimes make you feel like you are not coping with the demands of motherhood, which may make you feel like a bad mum. This is common for mums who are struggling with anxiety and it is the illness making you think this way. However, it doesn’t make you a bad mum. In fact, worrying that you are not doing a good enough job shows you are a very caring mum!
It important to realise this, as research shows that feeling like a bad mum is common with perinatal anxiety, and this can make people feel ashamed of their symptoms. Some women actively hide how they are feeling from others, as they worry that people might negatively judge them, and may even believe that if they tell someone, social services may try to take their baby away. This is not true. If you tell your GP, midwife or health visitor how you are feeling they will want to help you get better, and they will support you, by helping to find an approporate treatment to get you back to yourself again.
Anxiety does not occur in pregnant women
THE TRUTH
Research suggests that between 18%-25% of pregnant women experience anxiety. Getting help quickly can help you recover and prevent it continuing after you have your baby.
Perinatal anxiety symptoms only occur in the first 3 months after childbirth
THE TRUTH
It can occur during pregnancy and up to a year after childbirth. If you are still experiencing symptoms years afterwards it may be that it has developed into a different anxiety disorder. It is vital you get support from family/friends and help from professionals as soon as possible to prevent it worsening.
If you have perinatal anxiety the social services will take your baby
THE TRUTH
This is a common fear for women with perinatal anxiety and can stop you from telling others and getting the help you need. In reality, social services rarely get involved. If you tell a healthcare professional how you feel they will work alongside you to support you looking after your child(ren).
If you have perinatal anxiety you will have to take antidepressants
THE TRUTH
There are many treatments for perinatal anxiety. Medication is an effective option for some women. Other effective treatments include CBT, counselling, and online anxiety courses. It is not a one size fits all. Your HCP will be able to talk through your options and find one or a combination of treatments that suits you. You might also want to look at our pages on self-help to find tools that you might find helpful.
If you take medication you will have to stop breastfeeding
THE TRUTH
If you and your doctor agree that medication is the right treatment for you, you will have weighed up the possible consequences of this. Some medications may pass on to your baby through the breast milk or by being pregnant. Some people decide it is worth the risk to keep the mother healthy and there are options with breastfeeding. As above, you will be able to talk through all your treatment options with your healthcare professional to find what is best for you and your baby.
Mums with perinatal anxiety hurt their children
THE TRUTH
A common symptom of perinatal anxiety is intrusive thoughts about harm coming to your baby, either accidentally or intentionally by you. They can cause you great distress and you are likely to find it hard to talk about. You may feel guilty or scared, but just because you have the thought does not mean it will happen or you will act on it. This is a common symptom and mothers with anxiety are no more likely to harm their children than other parents.
See our sections on unwanted thoughts and how to manage them for more information.
A woman with perinatal anxiety can snap out of it
THE TRUTH
Sometimes well-meaning people in your life may think you can “snap out of it”, or tell you to be thankful that you have a healthy baby, so there is no need to worry. This may leave you feeling frustrated, not understood and alone. It is no more possible to snap out of it than it is to will a broken arm better. Unfortunately, some people are not as aware about mental health conditions, but that does not mean you need to feel bad or guilty about your illness. It is an illness and it is not your fault.
Top tip: Find a friend who is understanding and will listen to you.
Perinatal anxiety is not a real illness
THE TRUTH
Perinatal anixety is still under-researched, so it isn’t understood as well as postnatal depression (which has received a lot of research attention over the years). However, there is now increasing research that recognises anxiety is a serious health issue in pregnancy and after childbirth. In fact, it appears to be even more common than depression in this time. General awareness of this condition will hopefully continue to increase, so that it is better recognised as a perinatal illness.
Perinatal anxiety will resolve itself over time
THE TRUTH
Most women with perinatal anxiety will recover in time, but treatment will help to prevent your symptoms from worsening, and support you to recover faster. Using self-help tools (such as those on this website) or seeking professional treatment will make recovery easier and quicker.
There is not a problem if you look like you are coping
THE TRUTH
Often mums with perinatal anxiety will put a lot of effort into looking like they are coping. You may actively want to actively hide your symptoms, and not want people to know that you are struggling. This can be exhausting and keeping up this “mask” may increase your anxiety.
Top tip: Confiding in a friend that you trust, and talking to people in a similar position may help you to realise that perinatal anxiety is not uncommon, and it is nothing to be ashamed off. This in itself may help you to start feeling better.
