Unhelpful thinking patterns
The way we think about different events or situations can really affect how we feel, and we can characterise our thinking patterns as either helpful, neutral, or unhelpful. It’s not surprising that people who generally have unhelpful thinking patterns (e.g. thinking things like “I can’t do this”, “nothing ever goes right for me”) are likely to feel worse than those who have more positive thoughts…
So let’s take a moment to look at some of the most common unhelpful thinking patterns that can occur, and that are often associated with anxiety:
Catastrophising (thinking the worst)
This is when your thoughts go straight to the worst case scenario, and you exaggerate or over-estimate the likelihood of something bad happening.
- “Something terrible is going to happen to my baby.”
Underestimating ability
This is when under-estimate your ability to cope in the face of a challenge (or negative situation). These thoughts often occur alongside catastrophising thoughts.
- “I just wouldn’t be able to cope if something was wrong with the baby.”
- “I’ll never be able to manage the pain of childbirth.”
Black and white thinking
All or nothing thinking, where thoughts focus on extreme views. Viewing situations are either black or white, with no shades of grey. Words like ‘always’, ‘never’, ‘impossible’ tend to pop up in these thoughts.
- “If I can’t breastfeed, I must be a failure.”
- “I always get everything wrong.”
Mind Reading
This is where you jump to conclusions, or make assumptions about what other people might be thinking, without any evidence.
- “The midwife thinks I’m crazy”
- “Noone in my antenatal class has spoken to me. They probably don’t like me.”
Fortune Telling
This is when you make negative predictions about future events, and believe them to be true (even when you have no evidence to support this view).
- “I just know I’m going to need to have an induction or caesarean.”
Filtering
This is where you focus on the negative or bad aspects of a situation while filtering out and ignoring anything good or realistic. It’s often referred to as ‘looking on the dark side’, or ‘glass half-empty’ type of thinking.
- “I ate really healthily throughout my pregnancy, but had one glass of wine in my third trimester – I’m useless and have no willpower.”
- “That antenatal session would have been great, but the teacher ruined it with her final comment.”
Setting unrealistic standards
The content of the thoughts aren’t necessarily negative in themselves, but they set rigid, high expectations of yourself or others. This can lead to anxiety in situations where those standards are unobtainable.
- “All the mums on social media seem to be coping really well, just effortlessly getting on with life so soon after having their babies. I feel like such a failure for not being able to cope in the same way.”
- “I’ll be able to give birth naturally, and exactly the way I want to – 100% following my birth plan with no deviations or complications.”
- “Breastfeeding will be the easiest and most magical thing in the world.”
Harsh critic
Imposing harsh rules or labels on ourselves or others about the way we SHOULD behave and/or feel.
- “There must be something wrong with me – I’m just not enjoying my pregnancy as much as I should.”
Confusing thoughts with actions
Believing that if you have a thought about doing something negative, that you’re likely to do it in reality.
- “I keep getting scary thoughts about hurting my baby, I worry that I will lose control and actually do it.”
Emotional Reasoning
Assuming your negative emotions reflect the way things are in reality
- “I feel so nervous about the ultrasound scan, there must be a reason for it… there must be something wrong with the baby.”
These unhelpful thinking patterns don’t always occur in isolation, and they often overlap.
For example, “I made a mistake; I feel so useless… they all think I’m stupid” could be an example of Black & White thinking, Mind Reading, Filtering and Emotional Reasoning. Knowing what these unhelpful patterns are, and being able to spot these types of thoughts as they occur is the first step to being able to change things.
So what can we do about our unhelpul thoughts, when we spot them? The NEXT SECTION teaches you some evidence-based techniques for tackling unhelpful thinking.
